Green is always green is what they believe...

I'm afraid, what they don't believe is...

There are two shades of it...

The Call...

Its been quite a few days since my last blog...gathered my thoughts a lot of times, but always found them all to be so damn incoherent that I preferred not to pen them, rather type them down. Today is no different from those days, its just one of those days when I suppose, I would like to give wings to my incoherence. In spite of being in such indispensable need of coherence why do I always end up being in this situation is a thing I am yet to decipher, but that is not what is really bothering me. The devil's actually the reason which has led me here. By now you must have come to a conclusion what a mess I am in. Well, its not that bad actually! I am kinda liking the pain, I have always loved it! you might say what a weird philosophy..I call it an alternate philosophy!!

However dis-balanced my thoughts are(which only I feel, you might as well beg to differ...might agree also!!) one realization that has struck me big time is, yes I dare say these words, I would have been, ought to have been better off not what I am today, with the kind of realization I have now and I have reasons to believe what I say.

Just have a look at a fool. He knows less, understands less, realizes less, demands less and so he lives less. He may not be happy with his life but he is content with his ideas, thinking, which we call limited, but they damn bother about it.

Just stand in front of the mirror, you will feel the difference. You know a hell lot of things, maybe more than the world has ever known till now, so your desires know no bound, you crave for more and in the long bumpy road you travel away, far away, all alone. You live more to suffer more and when you think that you have come to your destination, you find the wealth of the universe knows no bound...and you still have a long way to go..on a futile journey towards emptiness and despair.

Transition...

Its Sunday..beautiful, vibrant Sunday... Sundays have always been special to me. From the days of going to drawing classes to the present sleepy Sundays. Well, not actually sleepy because I plan to do a lot of things...complete the pending study-work, write blogs, watching movies, EPL and the list is never-ending...presently IPL3, today I have KKR v/s RCB....but I end up with one thing..we call it "Lyad"..a feeling indescribable, because you find it hard to describe even when you are in this phase. I belong to the extreme category...my friends say...though I beg to differ!! I basically get bored very easily and need some time to accumulate & assimilate things going around.

Earlier, Sundays used to be very bad for me..."Bad Sundays"...i hated it. My mom used to throw me out of the house every Sunday morning with two of my neighborhood girls to drawing classes. I liked sketching but liked watching "Jungle Book" more. Every week the same old ordeal & when the day of respite came it nailed in me a deep hatred towards sketching...Jungle Book was over!!

I do not recall any noteworthy incidents or accidents that struck me on Sundays in between as I tried to be serious about my future!!! Well, that statement was a joke in itself..hahaha!! I guess my parents were more serious than me!!

Then came the "Fun Sundays". It was in class 9 & 10, I was in a coaching class where sir used to teach Computer Studies on Sundays, rest of the week PCM. Those days I made a lot of friends, it was a mixed bag...people I thought who would b with me in future, people I only interact occasionally, people I meet on social networking sites & my closest buddy. An entire morning & sometimes also the half of afternoon of fun. This was when I first came across an entirely different set of people, people of diverse mindset, diverse cultures, diverse backgrounds, diverse histories...an utterly cosmopolitan community, typically Calcutta. I started exploring Salt Lake. Before joining the coaching I had an impression of Salt Lake nothing short of a labyrinth.

We used to play pranks at each other & also the passers by. Once we scared the hell out of some passers by in lonely dark lane in the evening by acting like anti-socials!! There were occasional fights, quarrels, love at 1st sights, 1st time affairs, wooing girls and all sorts of teenage fantasies. Once "The Hottest Chick" of the class came up to me & said that I was unzipped, the moment I entered the class..I was embarrassed..moments later I found it was not..I was blushing!! Initially I used to think like "what weird ideas they possess"..which I still have a bit I guess, but I've got used to it.

After a long hiatus of hectic & boring Sundays came the "nothing at the same time everything to do Sundays"..the present Sundays. I'm not so sure as to what i'm supposed to write in this part because i'm still accumulating, assimilating & realizing about myself & my surrounding. A friend of mine is confused as to what she is meant for. She is confused, worried about her future..she thinks she won't make a good doctor..she knows her qualities & she also knows that she is not the best in those. Now I'm confused.

Let me share a little story. Once I went to Sunder-bans with an NGO, to give relief to those hit by the Aila. I was conversing with Lily, a Romanian. She is 5'11", near about 100kgs, maybe more than that. Her husband, Peter, a Punjabi Christian by birth. Peter is 5'9"!!! I was talking with Lily about the kind of social work through this NGO. While she was sharing her experiences she asked me if i'm planning to do anything other than my regular medicine stuff.

"I cannot afford coz I'm not meant to do" I said.

She replied "You neva know what you are meant to do"

Lily was broght up in post-USSR Civil War torn Romania, she told me that she was on the other side of this relief program during her childhood.

When I enquired her how come she finds it easy to walk the thin sleepery muddy roads on the banks, I found out that she was a lumberjack back home.

Lily is an Engineering graduate. She was into drugs, a reckless wierdo. She owes her life to this NGO & after such a horrible she believes that "maybe" she's meant to do this..devote her life to the helpless.

Lily is now working full fledged in the NGO, with Peter and she wants her children to carry the legacy forward.

Yes, this also happened on a sudden Sunday last year...I call it an "Idyllic Sunday".

Thank you.

Mixer Grinder...

Its 12th Feb, Pooja aggarwal's oops Pooja Parekh's b'day, one of the few friends of my school I miss...I forgot to wish her..not exactly though because it came to my mind at 10pm & that's obviously not the right time to call someone to wish whom I give a call hardly twice a year!!

Anyway, its another week gone past & its been a hotch-potch one!!

Reasons....

1.....I called up Nikunj Parekh, Pooja's husband, a friend dating back to school days after I saw them in their honeymoon pics in Auckland...yes, we three were class-mates. After knowing each other for 12 years, after a courtship of 7 years, after experiencing a long distance love affair for 2 years, most probably, after fighting against all odds back in Pooja's place and not to mention the innumerable "indecent proposals" since God knows when....they married. Kudos to your love. God bless you.

2.....Reservation for Muslims in Govt jobs in West Bengal...a move that is blatantly targeted towards the Muslim community not to help them but an ingenious ploy to get the vote banks filled with Muslim votes. Quite obvious because the "Left Front" very well knows that Muslims in this region are no longer with them.

Why will they be? Muslims in West Bengal have realized that they are the worst hit in the country. Its high time they realize their situation & change gears...join the tsunami called "Poriborton". Time will tell if "didi" is our real "deity" as the "Left" & the "Poribortito" seem to be analogous.

Well, we all know that condition of the major minority community in India is very poor & its poorer in West Bengal, as I can say from my experiences in the wards of Medical College, Kolkata...Muslims being a minority community form a large chunk of the patient population in our college, because majority of them do not have the money to afford high end medical facility...so the Govt should help Muslims with this Reservation.....Why? Nowhere in the Constitution its mentioned that there should be reservation on the basis of religion (that does never mean that i support it on the basis of caste) & moreover giving quotas in jobs is not how you uplift a community simply because majority Muslims cannot afford to make themselves fit for a job. To a large extent this has got to do with the mindset which in turn is related to poverty & ignorance.

Majority Muslims still consider themselves as 2nd class citizens of India neither because of themselves nor because of their Hindu counterparts. Well, it is what our politics has given us. Muslims, Pakistan & Terrorism....the three trump-cards of Indian politicians, you choose any one of them & you are a hot-shot.

So, giving reservation is not a solution at the same time doing nothing & demanding for it is also a crime. Its high time for Muslims to get out of their "Burkhas" & do some real thinking. They should stop considering themselves as a minority & step into the ditches of political forgery. As for the Govt, if they really want to help the Muslims or any caste or economic strata, I can only suggest to have basic facilities for health & education at the grass root level as a preliminary step. First make them capable for a living then you think of giving them a job.

3.....I'm happy to clear out a misunderstanding between Sreyashi and BINGOS.

4.....Well, the Sandakphu trip has rejuvenated me and a few!! We are back to old days!! guess so!!

5.....3rd MBBS Part 1 results are out today.I passed in all subjects.

Thank you.

Ganges, Ghats, Ferry Rides and......

Well, I have always liked this place since the first time I came here, mostly because of the majestic Ganges & also because of the numerous ferry rides across it. Among the ghats I love the Shibpur one, firstly, because its not so busy...its not that crowded...secondly, I get to see the Vidyasagar Setu very closely...yes, its also close from the Princep Ghat end, but this end is crowded again.

Going a bit away from the topic I would like to share one more thing i.e though i love the ferry ride from Dakshineshwar to Belur Math, its just too good...i do not like the one from Belur Math to Dakhshineshwar...!!!...may be because of the route they take. In the former the major part of the journey is through the middle of the river, while in the later one they take the banks!!!

Here are a few pics when I went to the Shibpur Ghat with a friend of mind recently...again, it was awesome...well, please bear with me because the camera is not that good..its a mobile camera..Nokia 2MP....!!!....anyway,love you..!!

Thank You

Today is 7th January 2010, Thursday....we are leaving for Sandakphu tomorrow for a 10 day trip. Four of us are going... Priyankar, Biaus, Shambo and of course me. Well, initially the party started off with 7 members... Gaurav, Anindya & Sayan decided not to go. Even I decided to hold back at one point of time, but because of two, maybe three persons that I'm going...and surprisingly each one had given me three different reasons to go...!!!!

One said that he won't go if I'm not going, the other said it has to do with the pride of BINGOS(that's the name of our group!!) and the last person said that I should go because I won't be able to travel back time to avail this trip again...so that's it...I had to surrender...!!!!

Frankly speaking the excitement is still not there, I do not know why.

Well, I guess I know why...

Firstly, I'm a bit worried about my Community Medicine & ENT papers...I may flunck!!

Secondly,oops! please forgive me...I can't disclose...!!

Oh! I forgot to say...Anindya is going with Amit , Shubhro & others to a trip to the Sunderbans for a day...he always lives up to his reputation...butt-hole...

As to why I'm writing this blog after so many days...its because the day was quite interesting...to the point that it forced me to write & I'm enjoying it...I know I might sound like contradicting myself...not exactly.

Before I write further let me tell you that I get "free advice" from a person who gave me the 3rd reason as to why I should go to Sandakphu.

As expected that person illuminated me with the thought of "social service". So I started my search & no better way than to kick off the search with "The Red Cross" & my search ended there only because I was amazed to see the kind of work they do. It was so satisfying to see that there are people left who give a damn about others. I'm not sure how long I will be able to keep this "aggarbatti" in me burning but I'm sure the fire of a prejudice called "social service" has been ignited...thanks a zillion,my friend....god bless you..

loneliness....

Here i stand, stretching my hand out searching for you

I could see all around me everything but you

I see and see and see but i cannot believe

Being surrounded by a stale sky

Forcing me in pseudo-psychedelia

I wake up to question you....why?

Why have you plunged me into this darkness...into this madness

Am i no better than this....

Striving hard to stretch my limit and break away

When i know that there is no way...

Rotting in this dungeon, i seek to fly

I seek to fly with you,many light years away from this hell

I hate you...for you have snatched yourself from me

Yes,i do panic in your loss...being so alone

But i still love you....darker than the darkness of this cell

Brighter than the light of your presence..

Because you have given me the conscience to hate you

With the psychosis inscribed in my every cell....